Marriage

marriage1Today I spoke with a young couple who will be married in April of this year.  It is such an honor to be asked to officiate a wedding.  This is a first time wedding for both of them.  As we were sitting together talking you could see the excitement in their eyes.  I  stressed the things normally   considered important.  We talked about the permanency of marriage and the adjustments each would be required to make.  When  two individuals start a  family there are always more adjustments than can be   imagined.  We discussed the details of the wedding along with all the important decisions that had to be made.  We talked about the usual such as money, budget,  where will you live, and where will you attend worship?  In our discussion we talked about the important values and concepts that must be considered before two become one.  We talked  about God’s view of marriage and the importance of their immediate commitment to each other as well as to the Lord.  Many years ago I learned the more you talk about these issues prior to the ceremony the less you have to deal with them after the wedding. 

One of the things I shared with these two  is something I share with every couple.  Before I do a wedding I give  the couple  a list of rules to fight by.  All people have differences during their marriage.  This is especially true during the initial adjustment period.  Everyone needs to be able to discuss differences in an acceptable way.  I prepare for each couple a list.   It is in no particular order, nor is it by any means conclusive. If we will consider this list as differences appear it could prove to be invaluable.  Perhaps this list will also be of value to you.

  • Never lie.  Trust is a foundation element of marriage.
  • Stay on the subject.  Don’t let your discussions wander.
  • Families are taboo.  The way mama did it doesn’t matter.
  • Let past arguments stay in the past.
  • Never make comparisons.  Comparisons to the ex, the in-laws, etc.  are never good.
  • Avoid accusations
  • Speak to each other as you wish to be spoken to.
  • Avoid going to bed angry.
  • Don’t allow yourselves to both be angry at the same time.
  • Remember to whom you are speaking.

God has determined that marriage is for life.  We need to treat marriage with the utmost thought and respect.  We can be certain  in regard to marriage, we will usually get out of the marriage exactly what we put into the marriage.  The rewards are certainly worth the effort.

-dell kimberly-

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5 Responses to Marriage

  1. Mike Harmon says:

    I discovered your homepage by coincidence.
    Very interesting posts and well written.
    I will put your site on my blogroll.
    🙂

  2. Thanks I appreciate your listing. del

  3. kevin says:

    Thx so much what you say about restitutions, l will be happy if you can deal more on restitutions, some of us have missunderstand this , many church don;t know much about it.

  4. Bonnie says:

    Can I e-mail you without it being put on your site for other people to read? Thanks for your time.

  5. Yes you can email me at williamokimberly(at) yahoodotcom

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