Do We Really Need Friends?

I had a couple of things happen yesterday that made me ask this question.  An old friend called I hadn’t heard from in a while.  It made me realize how much I had missed him.  There is nothing that compares to being able to pick up a friendship where you left off with no need to get reacquainted. A few friendships are that strong. Very few in our lives are but when one is we need to treasure if for what it is, pure gold.

This has been a hard week, sometimes we call it crunch time. For the last few weeks I have been working at a frantic pace.  Too many hours and not enough sleep.  A second friend called today, my best new friend.  (When your my age anyone who has been a friend less time that your oldest shoes is new).  We strongly disagreed over an issue.  Before long frustration builds, tempers flair and things are said we couldn’t be forced to say under any other circumstance.  In time we cool off, apologies are issued and all the right things are said.  This is direction real friends take if they are real friends.  When we do this we can’t keep from wondering in the back of our minds, “What have I done?  Will the friendship ever really be the same?”  We really do need good friends.  There aren’t many friends who will be there regardless.  As important as friends are what can we don’t need to lose any. What do we do to strengthen the relationships?  Let me offer a few suggestions:

  • Never take a friend for granted. Friends are treasures that need to be guarded.  Make sure nothing takes them away.
  • Guard you tongue. Sometimes a word spoken in anger is not easily forgotten.  Be careful what you say to those you treasure most.
  • Take special care to guard trust. When we lose trust in relationship we no longer have relationship.  Be careful not to do or say anything that would destroy this foundation.
  • Talk to God about your friends. We often ask God to bring special people into our lives.  He will answer those prayers.  Take the time to thank God for those special friends and ask him to guard those He has given to you.
  • Don’t be afraid put things at risk for a friend. Real Friendship costs. It isn’t free.  To have good friends we have to be good friends.

In the last few years I have lost some good friends.  Some to death, some to misunderstanding, some to Satan himself.  I wish I could tell each one of them how important they were to me, how much a part of my life they were, and how much I miss them.  Take a few minutes to tell those God has given you as an answer to your prayers how much they mean to you because we need our friends.

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16 Responses to Do We Really Need Friends?

  1. Royce says:

    So true and well said.

    I value online friends too. Over time, several months or even years, online friendships develop and trust is built and a few people fit the role of “good friends” though limited by distance and time. You have become one of those trusted friends to me and I sincerely appreciate what you have meant to me these past few years.

    Royce

  2. Judy says:

    This one is excellent! You have terrific insight, my friend. Thanks for sharing — again.

  3. Thanks Royce, I value you as well.

  4. Judy, thank you so much. Glad to call you my friend.

  5. Wayne McDaniel says:

    Dell,
    I am glad to call you my friend. Your welcome on July 4th, was truly encouraging.

    Jesus made himself a friend to those who knew they were sinful. He came to rescue us from ourselves, we only need to see our need for him to cover our lives with his.

    There are several good articles about friendship in the current quartely issue of Bering Today,
    pub. by the Bering Drive church of Christ in Houston. The one by Ann Bayliss reflects more careful thought than many of us are accustomed to.
    Bering Today is available online at http://www.beringfamily.org .

  6. Wayne I too am glad to call you friend.

  7. Thanks for these thoughts, Dell…you do a good work. I am thankful that the Spirit of God has provided other avenues, such as the internet, in general, and blogging, in particular, where people can become friends. I appreciate your friendship, and hope to meet you face to face at some point.

    Blessings,
    Don

  8. Don, thanks I too appreciate your friendship and hope we get that chance to meet. Thanks for reading my posts.

  9. Dennis says:

    After reading your post and the comments that followed, these thoughts came to mind.

    This world is really broken. I don’t understand why people cling to it so desperately.
    As people, we are so flawed. We fail each other. We fail the Lord. We fail the church. We just fail.
    True friends know us the way we really are and stand by us anyway. They don’t dwell on our shortcomings, but dwell on our strengths. They see past our weaknesses and love us anyway. They let us rant without attaching much significance to the words spoken in frustration, desperation or anger. They just let us hurt and give comfort by their nonjudgmental presence.
    But true friends are very few and far between.

    Most good friends are a little further out than that. They don’t abandon us, but are not really there for the heavy lifting. They encourage intermittently from afar. And sometimes that’s what I’ve really wanted anyway. Who wants to burden a lot of their friends. Not me. In fact, sometimes it is more refreshing to talk with a stranger than to a friend. They will listen without trying to fix things. And sometimes, all one needs is someone to listen and to let one pour out their heart without worrying about having stigmas attached.

    Ultimately, the solution is between an individual and the Lord. Jesus is the true friend that can bring ultimate peace regardless of the problems that loom. He accepts me as I am–flaws and all–and loves me without limit. Ultimately, my peace comes from him alone.
    God Bless, Den

  10. Dennis, thanks for your thoughts, friendship, and reading my posts.

  11. Ray says:

    Dell,

    I agree with feelings on friendship. If we could all be so aware of the commitment we make as friends and the care and concern involved to be a good or great friend. A friendship is not only about us!!!

    I am happy to call you a friend! I feel as though you and Robbi are members of my family!

    God Bless You!!!Keep looking up and the world looks brighter!!!!

  12. Thanks Ray, your a good man and a true friend.

  13. I love Dennis’s comments above! the loss of good friendship is certainly one of the clearest marks of brokenness in the world, and one of the primary ways we experience it!

  14. I don’t know where I’d be if it were not for my friends in Christ

  15. Jan says:

    Been gone for two weeks and just read your post. I sincerely hope I am still counted as one of the few in your book, I know you and Robbie are in mine. God working through you never ceases to amaze me.

  16. Nabel says:

    Mr. Kimberly, It was only recently that I felt in my spirit to find this webpage. It must have been more then 3 years ago that I read some of your thoughts. Its even more amazing that I would even remember your name! I thank God tonight, after reading Do We Really Need Friends? I needed some guidance about my position at work. I have been there nearly 30 years, things have change and I have been unhappy. But I know that God is still working in my life and I have a whole lot more to learn from Him. The 5 important keys that you shared are now instructions for me to apply in my life. So thank you once again. Regards, Nabel

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