What Makes Relationship Work-Edition Two

wedding-rings1There can be no better source for giving insight into relationship than the Father who created us.  As I examine the various points which allow for great relationship, examine your own thoughts in this matter. Don’t be afraid to speak up.  I am approaching this subject from my personal experience.  Your thoughts may be different but are certainly welcome.  God’s thoughts are always right.  When it comes to my opinion the only absolute I have is I am the world’s foremost authority on my opinion. Your thoughts are important, speak up.   Today I intend to list five additional ideas  essential to the nature and fabric of any successful relationship.

  • Successful relationship must have trust.  In order for two people to build  really good relationship there has to be trust.  Often I have heard this[ statement made, “Trust must be earned.”  There is a segment of truth in the statement.  George Jones sings a song with a line in it which says, “get caught cheating twice will cost you twenty to life.”  There is a reason for the line.  Trust has been broken and is not easily restored.  Often we take the trust of the one we love for granted.  We think  trust will always be there.  Trust is earned but it is also a choice.  We choose to trust or not  trust.  The actions of our partner make the choice easier or more difficult according to what they do.  If we aren’t careful we get to this point, “no trust/no relationship”.  Guard trust as if it were gold.  It is of more value to a relationship than almost anything we possess.
  • Successful relationship is built on interaction and not mere attraction.  Do you remember the first time you saw that special friend?  Did your heart skip a beat?  Were you so attracted that you couldn’t take your eyes off them?  Often we say, “It was love at first sight.”  It is never love at first sight. God made man and woman for each other.  The attraction is important but it is not love.  Love is not about the physical.  Love is built around something much deeper.  For this reason successful relationship is built through time.  We don’t fall into love at first sight nor out at first fight.  Successful relationship is built on consistent positive action established over time.  Yes the rush of being together that first time is important, but not nearly as important as knowing you can count on that chosen partner after years of getting the same consistent positive reaction. Some say beauty is skin deep, I disagree true beauty is only found through enjoying the good, and the not so good on a consistent positive basis over extension of time.
  • An extremely important point in any successful relationship is  how we view our mate.  It is easy to  take each other for granted.  We need to understand who provided our mate.  Sometimes, especially with we men, we think we have won our mate by our wit, our charm, or our good looks.  We did nothing of the sort.  God gave us our special mate.  We need to teach our children and grandchildren to pray for a  mate From God.  We need to pray with them.  If we can realize who is  the giver of the gift we can realize how important the gift really is.  When God gives us an answer to our prayer it is no small thing.  When God puts another person into our lives it is the greatest gift we will ever recieve.  When you look at your chosen friend realize it wasn’t you who did the choosing, it was God.  What God has chosen for me should take on special meaning.  This is how we should view our husband or our wife. regardless if that gift is present or still in our future.  Be careful what you pray for you just might get it.  When God answers your prayer, don’t question His answer.  If we do he may not give us another.  Treat your wife or husband as the special gift from God that they are.
  • Successful relationship requires positive reinforcement.  At many points in our lives we need positive reinforcement.  Where I grew up if someone was grouchy we often would say, “you got up on the wrong side of the bed.”  The truth is all of us “get up on the wrong side of the bed” at times.  We need a tender touch or a kind word letting us know  all is well.  In time we learn to read our mate.  When we get to this point we can provide the positive reinforcement needed to make the relationship prosper.  Let’s all ask ourselves, do I provide positive reinforcement in the life of my friend?
  • Really good relationship allows both parties to make the other complete.  When God looked at His creation He said, “It is good.”  When he searched for a mate for Adam there was not an acceptable mate to be found.  From Scripture we know the beautiful and tender story of God’s creation of woman.  As a result of the way God created Eve that creation made Adam complete. Each person in a relationship ought to make their partner complete.  To you guys, your wife ought to be the crowning jewel in your life.  Be sure you treat her as such.  Ladies your husband ought to be the one who makes you who you are.  He ought to complete you in the same way you complete him.  Realize this, when we are provided with that special friend, God has done the providing.  Treat your mate as God’s completing gift.

In my next segment I will provide five more necessary values to make our relationship a success.  Please feel free to offer suggestions.  If you disagree don’t be afraid to say so.  If you have an idea you wish to share please do so.  Many of you are emailing me with thoughts.  I am grateful but please share them with all who are reading.  Thanks for reading and sharing together.  May God be your rock, your sword, and your shield.  In his care, dell kimberly

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